- Are you asleep?

- Yes.

- Can I ask you a question?

- In your dreams.

- Do you think all dogs like me?

- Are you fuckin kidding me?  Ara, go to sleep.

- It hurts my feelings when I think a dog might not like me.

- Jesus Christ.

- Because I like all dogs.  Even pitbulls—it's not their fault their owners are assholes.

- Do you know what egotistical means?

- It's when you think you're the shit, and everyone else is gay.

- Sort of.  But the ego lies with your fascination of how you are perceived.  And the tendency to get emotional because you are not regarded in a way you feel you should be, is sort of egotistical.

- What does that have to do with the little cuteness monsters?  

- Go to sleep, Today.

- I don't think I'm the shit.