- No, mom, I can't come home.  He's my friend—I can't leave him like this....Then I won't!  Look, mom, he's lost all his friends, his blog...his blog...(whispering) Mom, he just discovered he's a loser, I gotta be by—

- Stop whispering; I can hear you.

- Oh, he just woke up, the poor thing.  (whispering) He looks dreadful.

- Stop talking about me.

- (Today, still on the phone) No, don't cancel the membership!  I'm going to talk him into going with me.  No, don't cancel it!  Well, I don't know why...(whispering) I think he's gotten too fat to go.

- I haven't gotten too fat—I just don't want to go stupid swimming.  Seeing a protein bar makes me want to start crying.

- Mom, he's crying.

- I'm not crying.

- Oh, mom, I better tend to him. (click)

- I'm not crying.  It was an expression to reveal my existential conundrum.

- Oh, I don't care, baby, she's the worst.  I wanted to get off the phone.  This is so great!  Us together again, shacking it up together!  Mom's boring.  Come on, baby, let's go to the gym!

- Stop talking like you're a big fat black dude...ah, Today...I didn't mean it....where are you going?  He's gonna start crying now.  Great, one extremist helping another extremist.