- What do you think?  Pretty dark, huh?  Yea, it took me two days to write.
- So is that an ending?
- I don't know, Today.  I'm not sure yet.  I'm definitely thinking on it.
- But how are you going to keep...you know?
- Yammering on?
- Yea.
- Who knows, maybe I'll have to start another blog on some other site.  Post-babe.
- You gotta have real readership for things like that.  People to know your footprints online.
- Shut up, Today.
- ...or thumbprints.
- (laughs) Pawprints.  I dunno, maybe I'll talk about my childhood, have some boxer talking about he was practicing karate, star of my own shown that only he'll know.  So how have you been, this is the closest I've seen to a shave from you.
- From me or you?
- (whispers) Shut up, and just keep talking.
- Well, I got this guy--
- How's it going with class?  You beat that ticket for Bella?
- Lala.
- What's it matter, we're all going to die anyway.
- You're edgier now.
- Oh, really?  Thanks, Today, I'm trying to evolve.
- Actually, it got dismissed.
- The ticket?
- No, some sorry cadet.
- That's pretty funny, Today. 

- Yea I thought so too.

- The important think is that you don't think it happpened.

- Yea

- Yea...So you get a chance to, you know, get some words in with her?
- Well, I wrote her Trial by Declaration and she sent it in; that's the last I heard from her.
- Oh.  Yea pretty standard procedure after all the pomp and circumstance.  You just use the crayon?
- Sort of--but she came up to me in class and told me it got dismissed in the mail.
- Oh ok, probably he didn't turn his in huh?
-  I don't know, I guess; I was really excited.
- You save a girl $246 or buy her a carton of cigarettes, she's going to think of you come when she gets home.  Hear that?  Pretty Wycherley of me huh?  Yea I thought they had left some notes for me in the epilogue, not very flattering.

- Then Hamlet--
- come evening
- Hamlet gave me a bottle of Johnny Walker Black.
- Hustler's code.  I wanted to be De Niro but ended up Sharon Stone.
- Then he gave me an envelope.
- What was in it, his ticket?
- Yea, he got pulled over on a residential street.
- Ah, brutal.
- Hey, my friend from class says I should get certified as schizophrenic.
- What?  Why?
- SSI.  He could probably swing me an apartment too.
- Hmm...maybe I'll come over.  Come on, we're almost there.

- Where are we going?

- I just got to make a stop...

- Here?

- Yea, one of my readers.  Gotta give him some shit.

- Oh.

- Confront him, you know?

- What'd he do.

- He's checking in the ground, but not this one.

- Oh.  Youn gonna give him a warning?

- That ship has sailed.  Final notice time.  Take your bat out.

- Ok.

- (breaking the door down) That one's done, foo.  

- (Today turns into a schizophrenic gangster)  Gonna set you guys straight.  Who said that!

el Fin.
first prize!

"I needed you, far far more than you needed me."

I'm Larry the Cable Guy
I mean, Carrey from the Cable Guy.
Jim, Carrey.

I'm trippin' you out right now!

Her name was Vin Scully.
I can't knock what she believes in.

oh first prize!

i shouldn't have critiqued her on the cereals 

altered states

"This move makes you feel like a star!"

"birth agony of a mountain"

"You're the experience.  They're behind the sheets!"

dear diary,

last night I dreamt I was in a clockwork orange

this makes me miss my home
flipping through the guide, not chaneels even
just words
I'm already anticipating
see the colors, the images my girls, then the signals
  dun-dun-dun

the voices behind it
I can't tell if their laughing
along with me, reacting
 or at the goals
I miss my home

(Is this program waiting for me to finish?
is that why she sounds hesitant)

they're not watching me today

we lost by like 31 goals...

Wait, Hey Ma', which sounds funnier: we lost by 31 goals, or we conceded 31 points?  (talking to himself as he types) This is going to blow them away...

No more "What game?" for me!

Can't find a channel to watch my beloved Steelers play ball.  What is this?  What is this?  The Chargers?  The Rams?  What a country!  What a country—can't even watch your team play over a cold domestic one!  Let me tell you something, I was watching my Steelers play before those Rams were playing in Los Angeles.  What?  Pittsburgh was on Eastern time.  Aw, easternct.  Don't think like that.  Eastern, like Asian.  Eurasian?  Ah! that doesn't even sound hot.

town hall meeting

Well, first I was going to go with the Mickey's cause it's what we drank in high school, when we'd pool our money and _____ uncle would walk to the liquor store for us.  He was a drunk.  You could tell by his walk.  He was nearing 50 and walked like he was 13.   But I thought it might make me sick.  Then I considered the Rolling Rock, cause that was my beer at the Park back in the day, until it started tasting too bitter after a few months, probably because I was drinking much more whiskey beforehand.  I thought if I'm going to have one beer, I like a little sweet honey taste that I find in Becks.  It's easier to enjoy the taste of something like Becks or Stella with weed than something like Coors.  You think you know everything...well you kind of do.  Thought oh yeah look at the name he'll go with that one, ohhh look at that name!  he'll definitely--no, he's going to go with the Bremen one,  I'll put my money Gene he's going with the one from the pictures.