665511

- You're losing me.
- Sorry, Today.
- Talk to me.
- No.
- Why not?
- I don't really know.
- You're such an existentialist!
- I don't feel as honest anymore*
- You let the days go by.
- Shut up, Today.  I'm not going to sit here and interview myself—I got facebook now!
- Remember what happened last time?
- Yea, Side One of Led Zeppelin Four.
- That's not the real issue—you haven't been—
- Shut up, I don't need you anymore, I think I just got a like.
- You're not yourself anymore.
- What if then it turns out I'm not the person I was trying to be*
- (Poncho) How cute, he's interviewing himself.
- Shut up, Poncho.  God, I hate that guy!
- What happened to God?
- I dunno, I kind of slide by the day acknowldging him, I'm not going to ask him—There's nothing going on!  I've just been watching a lot of The First 48 Hours.  Why don't those guys just say "Lawyer?"

- (Poncho) Or insurance.

- This one guy—he was a character—he tells the officer, that after he killed the third person, he told himself he was done killing people and from now on he was going to concentrate on his acting career.  Priceless.  He gave them such a confession that he thought afterwards he was going to be let go.

- I know, I've learned a lot from that show, too.  It takes me eight hours to order a coffee!
- Blog's taken a hit all around again.
- (Poncho) You just don't got no material that make you look good.  Material suffers if y'all lack integrity.
- Fuck off, Poncho. It's a great reason to drink.
- Maybe it's the exercise you lost, the exercise of it, I mean.
- Maybe, Today.
- (Poncho) Pass me the wine.
- Okay then, Poncho, let me ask you this, how is it so different from the last time?  It's self preservation, at least.  Maybe I'm being cynical, but it'll make me less of a fool.
- What?
- Huh?
- I dunno...I got nothing but reruns!  I'm going to post another one on fb, I'm addicted to validation.l
- (Poncho) Let me tell you something, you thought you was going to get a present.
- I don't need no present.
- (Poncho) But you couldn't even look presentable for April.
- Yea. So!  I'm my own elected boss!  No delegates are going to—
- (Poncho) So now you gotta put up your front.
- It's my blog, I can do whatever I want.
- (Poncho) You been saying that your whole life.
- That's so cute, he has.
- (Poncho) Shut up, Today.
- Don't talk to him like that.
- I lie his stuff!  I like reading it on facebook.
- You have a facebook, Today?
- No, I just stop by to check yours, I know how it makes you feel.
- Sometimes I get drunk and start deleting people.
- (Poncho) Social networker.

*guilty conscience followed by no writing, then karma

- So you want to get some food, Today, before I go and do my thing?
- Uh-oh, you're going to go off and do your thing?
- My good thing, not my bad thing.
- Oh, good.
- So you want?
- I already ate at Costco.
- Pretty smart.  A drink and slice of pie is like, what, a buck fifty?
- Oh, that's for suckers.  We went inside.
- To buy in bulk?  You know you just waste the rest of what you get sick of.
- My tastes always change.  I'm very cosmopolitan.   I just took care of their samples.
- Oh I see, you made a meal out of the samples, eh?
- Me and my friend felt like geniuses afterwards.
- Classic freeloader maneuver, nice.  You didn't just stand around waiting for the lady to heat up the next batch did you?  You gotta be subtle about those things, Today.
- No, I stood back an aisle, popped my head out to monitor the tray.  I didn't want it to look like I was stalking her corner.
- Would she ever look at you stalking her corner?
- Oh, I'd move my head back behind the roast beef when she caught me.
- Well, then, you can watch me eat.  I'll get you a shake or something.
- I had a few of those protein shakes in those small paper cups to wash down my treats...but it just made me thirstier.
- Did you at least buy a drink?
- Well, my friend said he had one of their fountain drink cups we could refill.  We drove back to his house to pick it up but we had to get gas on the way back.
- You know, Today, let me tell you a moraled story.  One day, I was early to do some commitment I didn't really feel like doing at the moment, right?
- Uh-huh.
- So I excused myself to have a cigarette.  My head was getting to me.  But you know what I learned on my walk?
- That you're wonderful?
- That I didn't actually need to have a cigarette.
- So you didn't have one?
- Shit yea, I did.  I had to hammer this thing out didn't I?

Today on his spare time.

- (whispering as he dials) Gosh, I love this phone.
- Hello, In N Out Car Wash.
- Is this In N Out?
- Yes it is.  How can I help you?
- I'd like a Double Double, hold the onions please.
- This is In N Out Car Wash.
- I can't get it to go?
- No, this is a car wash.
- Oh...well can I get some fries with my car wash? (click) Hahahaha-ughhaha!

- Hi! Nice sweater!
- Oh, thanks, Today.
- What's wrong?
- Eh, I don't really know.  Can't tell what's a realization or another circular thought.  Thanks for the compliment, though.  Thought if I wore it it might make me feel better.
- Did it?
- Do I sound cheery, Gilbert?
- You're such a tortured artist!
- Shut up, Today.
- OMG!  Is that the sweater plastered all over the news?
- Did you just say OMG?
- You're the one they're looking for on the news!
- What?
- Oh, it was a massacre.  Women were sprawled all over the floor.
- Oh my god.
- All across the county!  The fire department had to hose 'em back to life, I read.
- LOL.
- They had to print the paper every hour today.
- Moment by moment, huh?   You know what, Today? (soft sitcom piano music)
- Huh?
- I didn't want to say anything, because I'm so sad and humble...and golden right now..,
- Yes...?
- But I did notice, ever since I've started wearing my sweaters, it's been raining a lot more.

- Fuck you, Poncho.
- (Poncho) Nah, can't happening, how's about you--
- No, fuck you!
- (Today) Guys!  Guys!
- (Poncho) Fuck me, huh?
- (Today) Look at how many times you're using that word!
- No, don't fuck you--fuck you!
- How you gonna start talkin'--
- (Today) Settle down, guys, please!
- (Poncho) Got Today acting all scared and shit.
- That's cause you need to be settled.
- (Today) What's happening?
- So you like to make things difficult for others, huh?
- (Poncho) F you, goober.  I make life too difficult for others.
- (Today) Why?
- (Poncho) I walk in the bicycle lane.
- (Today) On our bike route?
- (Poncho) On purpose.
- He's the one what's been walking on our bike route that gives us smug looks when we should run him over, Today.
- (Today) Why you gotta act like that, Poncho?
- (Poncho) Cause it feels good!
- Good, or too good?
- (Poncho) It makes my heart feel good!
- Someone's gotta straighten you out.
- (Poncho) You ain't no one.
- I'm that someone.
- (Poncho) You ain't no one.
- (Today) He is someone!
- Thanks, Today...but I think he means I ain't no, one.
- (Poncho) Love being confusing and difficult!
- (Today) What does he mean?
- He means he's a bitch.
- (Poncho) Means you ain't at one, bitch.
- Oh yea?  You love being confusing, huh?
- (Poncho) And difficult.  Feels my heart with joy.
- You need to be straightened out, is what you need coming to you.
- (Poncho) Yea?  You know what?
- (Today) Who?
- Don't let him trick you, Today, What isn't a person.
- (Poncho) I'll tell you what, when I be driving in them lanes,
- Yea, you smoldering piece of resentment--
- (Poncho) I go under the limit to slow everybody else down.
- He's one of them, it's my right dudes.
- (Poncho) Everybody's gotta cut me off, else they won't get no where.
- And that does it for you?
- (Poncho, savoring) Oh, that does it for me.  It does it for me good!
- That does it! Let's settle this right now!
- (Poncho) Yea, you got your baseball cap?
- Today, get me my baseball cap.
- (Today) Check!
- You got yours?
- (Poncho) I'm gonna flip it on you.
- I'm gonna flip it on you first, you sonvabitch.
- (Poncho) Not before I go Over The Top on your ass.
- Your ass!

Some people it's better to treat like dogs,
some dogs it's better you don't tell them things.

- (Poncho) You should write more things, make it into a profound poem.
- Leave me alone, Poncho.
- (Poncho) The sister christian angle was clever.
- Maybe.  Guess then it really doesn't matter.  What they try to make you understand is your control over things.
- (Poncho) Peeps.
- So if it bothers me, my state in others' lives, it's really my problem.  It's what's wrong with me.  My perception of it probably correlates with how I deal with things, goes hand in hand.  Shut up, Poncho.
- (Poncho) Didn't say nothing.
- I said shut up, Poncho.
- (Poncho) Nope.
- Okay.
- (Poncho) ...The analytics, too.
- I'll still take it.  If there's such a population problem, then why the fuck am I so alone?
- (Poncho) Whose fault is that?
- Well, lots of people's.
- (Poncho) Well, that's the population problem: it's too many people's faults.
- Hmm, it sounded better when I thought of it in the car,  There were so many parked cars on the street.  The phrasing sounded way more profound and witty in my head--Okay, let's try it again.
- (Poncho) No.
- C'mon, Poncho.
- (Poncho) No, I gotta go.
- God, I hate that guy!


yeka martes inch es anum hetsanivov?
yeka knikes khi dgaghid mech ches?

i made that up, i keep getting hits in the head

- Your mom let me in, Today.
- Hi buddy.
- What are you doing, studying?
- Working on the letter for my princess.
- Letter?  Oh, Lala's speeding ticket?
- Yea, my Letter of Declaration.
- Trial by Declaration.  Your letter of declaration is gonna go to Hamlet.
- Don't make fun of me, I'm hard at work.
- You're not using a crayon like I told you, are you?
- No, I'm being way serious.
- What's your defense?
- Well, he wrote her as going 53 in a 35.
- Ouch, that's like over 20.
- So I'm going to prove he's really mean.
- What?  You sound like a lawyer I had once.
- Well, she said he was real nasty to her--that was a big mistake!
- Got you fired up, huh?
- And then I read the ticket--
- Class is teaching you something, huh?
- Objection, this is a serious matter.
- (laughing) All right, all right.
- When I read the ticket I saw it was the same officer who arrested me before.
- Back when you were drinking two beers?
- Yea, my dark days.
- What was it, that time you were drunk on the bench?
- The time I was swaying near the bench.  Not the other time.
- You know you're not allowed near that bench, Today.
- I don't go anymore!
- I'm just kidding.
- But when they arrested me, he was yelling at me, too.
- But you were a wreck.
- It wasn't him that arrested me.  The other officer was professional and calm.  It's not right for citizens to suffer just cause he has a bad temper.
- You're starting to sound like an attorney already.
- I thought I'd ask the court for all his citation reports, any complaint forms against the man--
- The man?
- Yea, for my discovery, see if I can't spot some consistencies.
- Today, you can't take this to trial.
- Yes I can, she'll see me wearing a suit.
- You can't act as her attorney.
- Why not?  Just because I'm a day of the week?
- You're not qualified, Today.  Look, I'm not being dayist, I accept all days; it's just that she has to represent herself against the court and officer if she's not going to hire a real attorney.
- Well, it's not fair for my client to be subjected to his tantrums just cause he might not like some of the days he encounters.
- I'm not saying he might not be an asshole, but it sounds like you're turning it into more of a vendetta to justify getting off your darling for breaking the law.
- You think?
- I don't know, actually.  I don't know why I'm giving it this much thought.  You can write out your argument for her, I guess.
- Oh, she can't read English.
- I don't know, I gotta go.  I just came here to borrow some sugar.
- Here you go, here is your sugar.
- Thank you, you have given me the sugar.  That concludes the purpose of this visit.  We shall take more later.
- (Poncho) Fool, why didn't you just say you gotta use his can and then on the next post you can take it from there?
- Shut up, Poncho.
- What's Poncho doing here?
- God, I hate that guy!

tough day mentally

i don't like being up at nights

....your butt

i didn't draw this one either

what's it matter anyway

uh oh

i don't like being up at nights

....your butt

- You got the hammer, Today?
- Uh-huh, watch your nails.
- My fingers?
- Opps, yea.
- What is that?
- It's my hammer.
- That's a baby's hammer.
- It's a baby hammer.  I got it from the 99 cent store.
- That's cause it's as heavy as 99 cents.
- What?
- What's that gonna do?
- It'll do the job.
- You're not a good manual worker, Today.
- You're not a good manual writer.
- Hey, let's not say things what's gonna hurt my feelings.
- Why are you making fun of my tools?
- Look, I'm sorry, Today.  It's just that that's the type of hammer they give to mature babies to work on their playhouses.  It keeps them distracted from the politicking around the baby unions.
- It'll work, trust me.
- Trust you?
- No, trust Hugh.  It'll handle your silly deadline, trust me.
- Eh, it's another line.  You're pretty clever, Today.  Okay, you ready?
- Yea, are you ready?
- Genius!  Another line.
- Hold the nail.
- Ok--wait.
- What?
- Chickenbutt!
- Okay, I'm going to nail it right now.
- Wait, let me say a quick prayer to accept whatever pain may come, Today.
- There!
- Got it!  We hammered this thing out!

- The night's so light and gray it looks like someone lit the sky on fire while we were asleep, Today.
- Yea, it's so gorgeous...like Halloween...or a woman.
- Yea, women look great all season long.
- Can I get one of those?
- You want to have an aesthetic smoke, do ya?
- We're bonding!
- So what do you want to talk about, Today?
- Spinach.
- Let me tell you something, you don't just get muscles by eating spinach alone. That shit's false advertising.
- No, I was eating spinach today with my mom and it didn't taste very good--
- Was it organic?
- And I got to thinking that people who eat salad--
- The rich, yea.
- Are always happy with what they ate.  And that's odd because spinach tastes like crap.  It tastes no where near near steak and eggs or an horchata
- That's cause they're eating with a purpose.
- Do you think they're just used to how bland food tastes?
- I think it's both.  I think when you know what you eat helps you meet a mental goal, you feel stronger afterwards.  Cause after all, splurging is the same as acting on impulse.  You usually regret getting lost in emotionalism once the taste is gone...or you see the results.  You getting insecure about what I said, Today?
- No, not really.  I just know I don't feel right eating that way anymore.
- Yea it takes some time to psych yourself up for the gym.  We're pretty masochistic in that sense--
- I'm not a masochist; I'm an extremist.
- Us extremists aren't pretty friendly with balance.  We have to crash into it to get acquainted.
- I'm like that way with girls.
- Ah, the old fender bender love tap at a red light and you got her digits!     

- I told you those coupons were dangerous, Today.
- I dream of burgers...
- It's a slippery slope the 2 for 1.
- And Patton...
- You dreamt of General Patton?
- No, Patton Oswalt.
- The little guy from Big Fan?
- Yea, I think he found his way in.
- Why were you dreaming of him?
- I was sitting indian style in the middle of his kitchen and he was sitting on the counter.
- What happened?
- I don't know, I had two frozen patties and I was opening up a small white old decrepit stove to cook them for us, but one of the patties looked more like a crooked chunk of meatloaf-like and I was trying to tell him that, but he was getting annoyed at me...it would fall apart in the stove I tried to tell him but he didn't want to hear it.  He was arguing with his mom and his sister, and I think I may have had one more patty stuck on there, parts of it would break off, and I tried to ask him if they wanted the other but there was only three and he didn't want to hear it.
- I had one about a city--an old English man and his daughter and their life and fascination with Liverpool.
- The city?
- Well, it took place in the city, but it was more about their lives.  The story centered around  how everyone adored the football team--you think it's because of Jurgen Klopp?
- I'm not sure.
- Anyway, the team kept losing and the father and daughter were going through hard times and it seemed the daughter was irked by her father or his suffering, and she yelled at him.  She said in her accent, "Don't you tell me about no Liverpooool!"
- Dreams are weird.
- Well, they say dreams are the garbage can of the mind, but I like to believe sometimes there's more. I mean, I was checking sports summaries that day, but I do that with a lot of teams, you know?
- I liked your Jurgen Klopp phase.
- Well, it was more relieving to make funny rants.  A small percentage of a calm that came with the comedy.  I gotta get going, Today.  Easy up on the belly.
- I know.  I've started feeling slight pangs on my right side throughout the day.  I thought it might be cancer starting.  After that, I felt it more.  Now I'm scared.
- If you were in a war, you'd be thinking you just got shot the whole time.

- Today is Thursday, Yesterday was Friday--
- That's not how the lyrics go, Today.
- Well it's hard to sing and play guitar.  You're only playing bass.
- We're only at bass lines so far!  All right, let's start again.
- Hit me the B.
- (bass lines) ba-boom boom /ba-boom boom, ba-boom boom / ba-boom boom
- (Today singing) Today is, Thursday, Tomorrow's, the Friday/ On the weekend, there's two days / Says on the weekend, there's two days /
- No, go again.
- (bass lines) ba-boom boom /ba-boom boom, ba-boom boom / ba-boom boom
- (Today singing) Today is, Thursday, Tomorrow's, the Friday/ On the weekend, there's two days / Says on the weekend, there's two days /Not everyday is like Sunday / The worst day is Monday / Yo mamma's, a Monday--
- Today!  Stop messing around.
- You're killing it with the bass line.  You should be nodding your head and saying ugh! with the each note.
- I'm not nodding my head...well maybe I will when I get comfortable about people looking.  Let's go again.
- (bass lines) ba-boom boom /ba-boom boom, ba-boom boom / ba-boom boom
- (Today singing) Today is, Thursday, Tomorrow's, the Friday/ On the weekend, there's two days / Says on the weekend, there's two days /
- No, go again.
- (bass lines) ba-boom boom /ba-boom boom, ba-boom boom / ba-boom boom
- (Today singing) Today is, Thursday, Tomorrow's, the Friday/ On the weekend, there's two days / Says on the weekend there's two days / Not everyday is like Sunday / The worst day is Monday / There can be, Only one day/ That day is, Today day...?
- Whatever, keep going...
- My name is,  Today day, My name is, Today day...

- I don't know, Today, I think we need some deep reflection.
- Ride our bicycles?
- Yea, feels like one of those days...what's with the bandanna?
- It's my new thing.
- You meet your friends at the park wearing that?
- I've been going to school with it too!

(this is just a save the date in case I can't get to it in time)

Ok, real quick...let's see, all right all right.  Okay, I'm ready--
- You ready?
Will you shut up I just said I'm ready!

(ring-ring)

- Ahoy-hoy!
- Today?
- Could there be any other way?  What do you think of my catchphrase?
- What's that noise?  Are you driving?
- I'm with my friend.  He's driving.  We're listening to Forensic Files.
- (background) "Gay divorcee Louise Van Houten was cheating on her boyfriend Gyro, with his best friend, Yiro..."
- What are you doing, Today?
- We're going to the mall.  My friend's going to help me get a credit card!  What are you doing?
- Trying to figure out why you wouldn't do it on a computer...
- (aside) Or do you think my catchphrase should be, Could there be any other day, Apo?